[ The Memories ]
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
big yawn
gosh its been ages since ive last blogged. everything's just been so hectic. everyone one's a piece of the pie before council break. theres just so much to do and so little time.. not to mention that the stress of studying for promos is piling up. im so behind its scary.
beware long and whiney entry ahead. uve been warned.
its been a very trying few weeks. ive gone for qt a few weeks without enough sleep or rest or studying for that matter. ive just been a robot trying to get through school and finish up my piling council work and appear alive during lessons. then last friday i finally cracked and (well... ashamed as i am of it..). in school. sigh. it just hasnt been easy with so much on your mind and so little time. i cldnt even concentrate during lessons because my mind would drift to all the work i had to do. and my life wasnt made any easier by everyone stating how much theyve revised or studied and how i shld get going, judging by the state im in. its been so difficult trying to juggle everything including hssrp and school work at once.
that friday was the first time in a long long while that i finally admitted that i was overstretched and exhausted. not to mention lost. i didnt know wat to do at all. i was just like a headless chicken trying to do everything. actually i think i was already used to the too much to do in too little time lifestyle. it was just tt i only had 3 hrs of sleep the night (or shld i say morning) before and i was feeling so exhausted and stupid especially since i hardly got to edit my eom cos i was busy helping ppl print out their stuff and all(yes. i volunteered to help in some cases. others was caused they asked me. i mean u cant say no right?!?!). to make matters worse i woke up late (i wonder why) thereby pissing my dad off and making him shout and scold me. on his bdae. which btw i forgot in the morning since i was so flustered already. then my mom told me she wanted me back early. but i was supposed to have general meeting from 6-9! and she started making noise and and... oh i dont know. everything just overwhelmed me. so i went to school trying to remain happy and my buddy started telling me tt i had to study and stop doing council work (yes he knew i was extremely taxed with work) and a few others told me tt too and then junli started talking to me abt stuff and it just got all too much to bear and i broke. yes. i think it was just a combination of exhaustion and stress and a really bad morning i suppose. so after tt i ponned 2 lessons to clam down and rest since i cldnt function at all. i was just an emotional brain-dead beanbag. heh. anyway now tt junli had banned me from some council work, ive had some time to at least do my gp essay. so yes. :D
the ironic part is, i went home that day and glanced through my horoscope in Life! which said something to the extent of you shld be glad that u have so many pple around you to pick you up when ure so crushed and down. be sure to thank them. so here goes. thank you for all ur notes and hugs and encouragement. thank you for caring so much and constantly asking me now what ive been doing and if ive been mugging (answer's always been no but there's hope that there will be a change!) im sorry to make qt a few of u miss 20 mins of lessons comforting me. and thank you buddee for staying with me even though u had lessons. (prelims coming! cannot miss lessons!haha) and i guess thank you junli for banning me from GM. i got my much needed rest especially since i had orientation meeting at 8 the nxt morning. thank you all! uve helped me through a very... busy month :)))))
and maybe victor's right... maybe i am pushing myself too hard. but isnt tt just life? pushing urself and striving to do ur best and be the best? well not exactly the best but at least good enough... oh yes and senthil just provided a wise quote "u shldnt take pride in ur work cos ure just gonna end up disappointed." well not really disappointed but ure gonna end up with eyebags most definately. im getting sick of staying up till 2 to make sure everything is done nicely and my work is in order. (not academics of course:))
sigh u may be wondering why i have so much time to blog such a long and pointless entry. well im just waiting for my PW grp me send me their part of the report for compilation. im actually using borrowed time since im sleepy but i wont get to sleep much tonight cos i'll be busy editing stuff written report draft 2. heh. blogging is considered under relaxation (sleeping) time. -big grin-
btw geek, karm, ta! all the best for tsd! im sorry i didnt wish u all gd luck before the exam itself but i got so busy it slipped my mind. argh. i know tts a lousy excuse but still... sorry. and geek make sure u get top in spore for tsd again! haha and karmun and ta can tie with the geek! heh. all the best!
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 10:38 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2005
baby aren't u proud of me? i'm blogging twice in a week. its like a record, no wait, it IS a record. i'm amazing.. amazed..
wed, thurs and fri were running all-nighters. no wait, i slept at 4.30 am on thurs morn so u can't really count tt. still, u know, its abt there. i worked on my scaled drawings all thruout thurs morn, like really wee morning, and slept at 4.30. had pe tt day and all my aches came back from captain's ball stemming from the napha retest sbj(which i knew was a gone case cuz i failed it anw). then, had foh and reached home about 12. wooo- it's a new morning. bathed and started actually typing out my journal. was so damn sleepy at about 2 smth but wasn't even halfway thru. did my whole journal, finished at 8.15 on fri morn. reached sch about 9. my prsentation was at about 9.30 but it lagged and everything got pushed back. bloody hell, i worked so damn long on tt thing and they dint wanna let me present @#XXH*#*! lit was some crap abt little frieda and the moon and it was all blurring in my brain. when the teacher actually asked for my opinion...
him: so.. (looks at me with big smile)
me: (big smile. internalized confusion)
me: ahh... umm.. the moon is actually a representation of a woman's menstrual cycle( thanx to krystle who told me tt earlier and i asked her to say it but she said it wld only make her look stupid). so, its talking about little frieda reaching puberty.. umm, yah.. and hughes is feeling upset about it because he uhh..
K: he doesn't want to lose his daughter to puberty u know? (elbows me)
me: uhh, yah..
him: frieda's two.
shit.
it was really brainless..
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 4:15 PM
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
good week :)
HELLO EVERYBODY! let me first declare my love for mc days! it really recharges you. im all happy and revving to go again! after a terribly stressed and burnt out week. heh. one week of recuperation and im tackling allllll my work with joy! without complaint! yet. :D
well the whole last week was spent getting sick and recovering. its amazing how much you can miss with 2 days of mc! i went to school on saturday and woah! found out that all my functions have progressed! which is good. anyway today is a thoroughly fruitful day. i went back to school (yes on a holiday! -cue gasp of horror-) to force myself to get work done. mainly bio evolution tutorial since nair wants it handed in by friday together with a ton of other stuff >< and i finished bio tutorial!yes including the two disgusting 23 marks essay! amazing! the last bio tutorial i did was the one on water! haha. which was ages ago...
still got a mountain load of work to do but ITS OK! somehow everything will work out! maybe if i wish hard enough, my remaining bio essay (yes ANOTHER one. sheesh. honestly these tchers are becoming sadistic) and chem tutorial and chem remedial stuff will complete itself! oh yes and my orientation comm meeting minutes will transfer itself from my notebook to microsoft word. heh. oh yes and i feel exploited by my pw group again. honestly whatever happened to even distribution of work? group work my ass. they shld try doing wat i do every single time and they'll realise its not so damn bloody easy to do the compiling and wat not. it doesnt just take 5 minutes and NONE of you have even bothered to help or volunteer to do it ONCE. just ONCE. its always "ok u do ur equal share of work and oh yes when we're done help us compile and collate everything again k? thanks."
but then again it is my fault. i shld say something abt it. instead of always keeping mum and slogging like mad over it. i really really think i shld start trying to be assertive so tt im not stuck with all the shit things and jobs all the time. i shall start soon! heh. even though the geek has been lecturing me abt being fierce and assertive since last year. oh wait. its not just her. qt a few ppl from our batch in ld comm too... anyway thats BESIDES THE POINT. i shall try. :) its not tt easy you know. its not very nice to disappoint pple. as in... ahhh. i dont know how to put it.
anyway not only did i do my evolution tutorial, i went to NUS to return my last waayyyyyy overdue library book! (everybody say FINALLY!) then the fine for tt one lib bk was 18 smackeroos. yes im not kidding. u see the fine for nus library is 1 buck per book per day. disgusting no? and im 21 days due. then ive got other fines for other books and it amounted to 27 bucks. 27 BUCKS!!!! can you imagine? even the nus librarian felt sad for me! she pitied me and was sooo nice and motherly, teaching me how to renew library books online for up to 1.5 months and all. haha. then when i went to top up the cash card to pay my fines, this student librarian was really sympathetic and was telling me how unlucky i was. haha. nice people. yes i hope they put my 27 bucks to good use! like buying toilet paper for the library toilets. heh.
overall its been a really really good past week. :D yay! im such a party girl. saturday i celebrated my sister's bdae, sunday i celebrated my granma's bdae and tuesday i celebrated my maid's+singapore's bdae! haha. all the parties! good for your health! and during my grandma's bdae all my cousins(except a few boys) and i watched initial D! haha. and everytime eddison/sean appeared the girls would scream or whimper. it was hilarious! haha. but they screamed so much i cldnt hear wat the actors were saying and i was going half deaf. so i made them inform me when they were going to scream.
cousin who has watched initialD countless times to swoon at eddison: ok ok! he's appearing soon/in the next scene/a while!!!
-cue me plug fingers in ears-
a few girl cousins: AHHHHH!!!! he's sooooo shuai! swoon swoon. whimper whimper.
guy cousins: keep quiet la cannot hear!
me: HAHAHAAHA.. wait. how come theres no english subtitles?!?! whats wrong with this thing?
haha. a wonderfully fun time with lots of fattening cheese cake :D yes ive had a good relaxing week and i shld be mugging but i just had to blog so tt i wont seem so crazily depressed all the time. haha. i only blog short, angsty entries when i have no time and im really stressed and upset see. heh. and the past few entries have been short and angsty. well anyway works piling up and rp rehearsals are starting! how exciting! good luck geek for your set design! u are such a typical lit student you know? look at all ur literary entries below! heh. all the best and dont kill urself yet! ull be fine after this week! and good luck karmun on ur masks! ure so arty farty i bet ull do well! and all other tsd pple i know! try not to stress too much yea! all the best!
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 11:22 PM
just a couple of interesting stuff from this bk i read.
things to do
1. set design
2. scaled drawings
3. miniature set (tho i seriously doubt my time)
4. history essay
5. pw
6. 2 lit essays
7. mths tutorials
9. gp compre
out of 9 things, 6 are due this week.kar mun is predicting my suicide. i'm just here, convincing myself i have nothing to do. -glazed disfocused look- panic.
'But soft, what light through yonder window breaks' -R&J
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 11:50 AM
Governess
'Lost in my labyrinth i see no truth, only the foggy walls of evil pressed upon me. Lost in my labyrinth I see no truth. Oh innocence, you have corrupted me, which way should i turn? i know nothing of evil, yet i feel it, i fear it, worse - imagine it. lost in my labyrinth, which way should i turn?'
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 11:48 AM
House
In the first room a man, surrounded by his life, slept. Darwin and Genesis provided literary clues to the distance we would travel. In the bowels of the building a preacher conjured up the swamp from which we came. Fish swam in an ocean at our feet and rain fell from the ceiling. Finally,in the most dilapitated room, Adam and Eve sat, after journeying home safe and sound following their expulsion from Eden.
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 11:43 AM
