[ The Memories ]
Friday, December 31, 2004
new year
wow. the new year is coming! boy do i feel old. by the way who was the last one to blog? doesnt seem like the geek...
isnt it sad that we have to welcome the new year with death and destruction all around us? everyday the newspaper is filled with people crying, grieving. i cant get the picture of the bloated corpses in a morgue out of my head. no one should have to die that way. isnt it strange how some people can get washed by the waves onto higher ground or into trees while others are sucked back into the sea?i guess u could say its fate. what someone interviewed said was right, "its difficult enough taking care of the living." the rotting corpses arent helping. and how will they rebuild their lives?
anyway karmun says my entries are filled with "so much angst" but well i havent any happy news to report. savouring the last moments of the holidays.im not looking forward to school.i mean school hasnt started and already i feel neglected! sucks. makes me regret my decision really.
sometimes i really wonder if i will still keep in contact with my secondary school friends. i mean sure everyone is saying oh we must keep in contact but would we? it seems highly unlikely to me. i think i'll have to be satisfied with all my memories.when i walk down street ten yrs from now and spot a friend, would i say hi? would they say hi to me? i wonder why they dont have reunions just like overseas. anyway i have the photo of the sexy six and peifang as my handphone wallpaper. hahas. i still think tts a ridiculous name by the way.
i dread the school year.dread it very much.i wish time would just stop now. i guess im scared. scared of not fitting in since man im already neglected over here!ok some pple will know wat im talking abt. i hope the environment isnt too cold and clinical. i fear o level results day. i had a nightmare on my a math olevel paper. first exam nightmare in my life. considering i know i screwed up a math. i guess im just thinking too much. should go with the flow. let nature take its course. claire gave me a bit of first day jc advice on looking cool since im hopelessly uncool. hahas. i got ankle socks! gotta get sports shoes! yes. lets just hope the new year would be better than the last. that the new chapter of life would open beautifully without creases or smudges in the first line.
happy new year everyone. may everyone be truely happy.
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 8:23 PM
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
scenario
man, i love working at showrooms. imagine, it's the perfect scenario.
'hi,(company's name)'
potentail client rattles off some incomprehensible request.
scenario 1
'ok, i understand, let me put u through to the main office. ask for(some other operator)
clicks phone down. pride all round satisfied.
scenario 2
'ok, pls hold'
digitalised recording turns on. starts droning
'for human resource dpt, press 1. for store management, press 2. for...'
and then u sit there the whole time playing minesweeper. man.. this is the perfect scenario.
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 9:52 PM
subject combi
subject combi, subject combi, havent a clue abt subject combi...
apparently we're supposed to sign up online. and they're calling those who havent signed up. well. they havent called me so i shall remain oblivious to all that goes on around me and ponder a bit more.i think i'll flip that trusty coin again.
i declare tt my mom is anti-the jc im going to. and u noe wat? i dont mind anymore. i used to be against it too! hahas.
im the worse decision maker in the world. filled with endless insecurities and doubt. i keep changing my mind. wat if i cant cope? wat if i suck at this subject? wat if my class mates have no lives?
anyway ive got a new phone! samsung. sexy phone. prefer nokia system though. but still i love it. its a a pretty merry christmas indeed. :D
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 1:40 PM
Monday, December 20, 2004
sick
im sick of all the bad comments abt the jc tt i got into. mostly from my mom since i dont really see anyone else. SICK. its not as if i want to go there. i mean honestly i dont noe where i wanted to go. i just asked many pple to tell me wat they thought abt those three short-listed jcs, eliminated one and flipped a coin to choose my first choice. hello? i was still contemplating after i logged in to the pae registration thing and i spent so long thinking my sis told me tt they'll log me out for sure. and she said she cldnt understand why i was thinking so much. just pick one becos it doesnt matter. they are good schools. so i used the highlighter thing i did for o levels when i cldnt decide btwn two mcq options. and it gave me the same jc! so thinking it was fated i put it as my first choice, changed all my 2nd, 3rd and other choices drastically (just ask my tuition tcher. before i logged in my nxt few choices were all different frm my final choices) and then i just forgot abt it. my parents on the other hand were so excited and kept reminding me of the day to check pae results.but until then my mom still kept bitching abt the school, telling me stories frm her ******* friends. thanks for the support but i am so undecided myself!i didnt even noe whether i wanted science or arts and it took me weeks of contemplation to decide so i seriously dont need this. maybe its the wrong choice. fine. maybe ill get kicked out after 2 months becos my results arent good enough(i seriously think so). tts fine too. i just want to be happy so will pple stop making me doubt and fear my choice? im not even thinking abt it damn it! i dont want to think abt it.
anyway to those who have made my school life so meaningful. thank you. i may have ended up hating st nicks during my last yr of my ten year chapter there, but u guys were there to help me through. i dont noe why i started hating the school so much. i guess it was ld change of tchers, how the new tchers sucked and hated us. how the school thought our level sucked in studies (probably afraid we'll bring shame to them). how they are always so biased towards us. all the tests and exams and no life thing. it just piles up.
but i will definately miss some pple there. many in fact. pple like eeling. i may not talk to her everyday but when im very down she always seems to be there for me. she's been a great friend for three yrs even though we were only in the same class for one. claire. ive known her for 4 yrs! amazing. well shes just a great advisor. and she's always asking me to "concentrate" during exams. hahas. a corny girl. and many others. like the geek and phoebe and others. so thank you. thank you all for making a special chapter in my life.
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 1:59 PM
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
1. i'm not cynical. that's crap.
2. i do not like this new template. it's better than the last one admittedly, but not by a whole lot.
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 7:48 PM
Monday, December 13, 2004
attn
let me make clear tt i absolutely hate this new blogskin but i just found the most depressing blogskin to suit cynical genevieve and phoebe. everything here is about being lost. and the entry below this is by the geek. anyway there geek is this better? u better be appreciative. i feel like a slave following ur orders.... its embarrassing.
i cant even read a book properly now-a-days.i read a few lines of the book and find myself committing those exact few lines to my memory before moving on and doing the same thing. then realisation will dawn on me and i'll think "wait! this isnt a textbook! what am i doing?" before i'll finally read it properly again. its the same with comics. its scary. this is what 5 months of mock exams, prelims and os can do to u. rob u of the ability to read like a normal person. it also shows tt ive only read txtbooks during that period of time. wow. oh! and another thing!ive lost my ability to read newspapers too. i just fall asleep halfway just like when im studying for exams!doze off till 6pm, fret abt tomolo's exam, watch tv to calm down, have dinner, bathe then start studying at abt 9pm until 12 sometimes while taking tv breaks in between. then ill watch tv, AGAIN! come to think of it it is amazing how i survived with only abt three hours of studying and inadequate sleep... now i really fear o level results... dont let february come!
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 6:28 PM
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
oh my crap.. what did you to the blog baby?? it was fine and dandy just a whiles ago. what's wrong with the last template? that was a great template. oh man..
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 9:26 PM
done!
photos are up. after looking through them i realise how ugly i am... sigh. sad isnt it... anyway EELING!!! i dont have a pic with you! AGAIN!!! why?? i dont understand.. i thought we took.... please send me. or ill take with u on collection of o results day or smthing.... sheesh.
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 4:40 PM
photos
im finally uploading photos. man it takes long.
and ive changed the blog skin for a completely different look! ive been keeping myself busy havent i? its really pretty isnt it? i love it... i had to spend so much time looking for a blog skin tt wouldnt make the geek and phoebe gag. i think they may gag at this. at least the geek will. but i like it so too bad!!hahas. they dont noe how to change it anyway...
ok photos will be under links ok pple? i shall upload the prom and LD grad one. but then again i may just get so bored waiting ill give up... we'll see......
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 3:53 PM
Monday, December 06, 2004
for just one quiet day...
geek. cant u just blog normally for once. i mean honestly tt has got to be the longest entry uver ever blogged and its on the apocolypse. terribly happy subject. i noe u did well for the chinese compo exam on shi jie mo ri but honestly... this is taking it too far.. no need to flaunt...
for once id just like to have a day of inactivity like u. sleep, read, eat, watch tv. tts it. im easily satisfied. tt would sometimes make a happy day for me. BUT NO.... my mom will yell every 2 mins when im trying to sleep or read to pack up the table. so i say give me some time. this drags on for several hours while i struggle through the novel. after many hours she says alright lets go to the library and i say i dont want to go out and im not done with my books(thanks to ur non-stop annoying interruptions).then after her screaming abt god noes what, i get fed up and say fine u can return the books it doesnt matter(leave me alone!).then she goes ok come lets go to the library now to borrow new books. WHAT! why cant u understand tt i dont want to leave this house!ok forget it. u dont have to return the books. leave it. ill return it myself.mom: HOW? me: i dont noe. ill find a way.(anyway then ill get to finish tt tom clancy book tts starting to get really exciting) mom: come on lets go. me: NO. i told u im not going. mom: nag nag nag.smthing abt us being so fortunate. me: fine wait for me to bathe and ill go alright? mom: just wear what ure wearing! if not Then zhong han will be late!! me: i really dont want to leave the house, i need to freshen up. zh: oi!mommy!go already lah!i want to be back by dinner! mom: u want to leave me carrying all the books and walking from the science centre to the library all by myself? me: ill go if ull just wait for me to bathe. zh:MMMOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYY....ill help u lah! come on lets just go! mom: all of u are so self centered! me: mommy u dont have to return the books if u dont want to walk. mom: then when? its overdue! me: not for a few days its not. ill find a way and return it myself(anyway if its overdue ill pay) mom: all of u are selfish! nag nag all the way out of the house until i cant hear her.
geek u shld really appreciate ur quiet days. i never get any of those. and ok maybe im being a terrible daughter but honestly sometimes i just feel so lethargic and i want to be a sloth,staying at home and reading a good book without constant interruptions and being forced to leave the house when i just dont want to.its just one of those days. like when i say hey come to school for physics remedial and u say dont want lah. lazy. tts just it. but my mom doesnt let me have one day of tt. the past few weeks ive been running around first going to orchard practically everyday before prom to shop for geek, phoebe and my prom stuff. then after prom i had to go out for i cnt rmb what. and then i went on holiday and u noe how holidays are... my family's not the kind who sits arnd in the hotel. we're out most of the time. and im just so tired. i just want one quiet day and im not ever going to get it it seems.
geek u really shld appreciate ure life once in a while.
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 4:08 PM
Thursday, December 02, 2004
doesn't anybody read about the apocalypse? there have been so much movies on it, mostly environmental like a flood(adaptation of noah's ark set in the modern context involving a lot more tragic heros and no crows, or like wesakejak or tiddalik, giant frog which gulped up all the water in the world), tidal waves(men in black the series in which they froze the whole todal wave anyway before it consumed hawaii), killer monsters(godzilla, escaped monsters from area 51, roswell high), eternal eclipse(like when that greek idiot, the son of the sun-god took his father's chariot and cldn control the fiery horses and plunged to his death), or just your regular run-of-the-mill meteor comets bringing destruction, death, total obliteration..ya da, ya da(armagaeddon). most recently, the day after tomorrow hit the screens in which a killer blizzard wiped out umm.. tokyo was it? i have no idea. it's classic.
on a wiccan level, or a chinese feng shui level, you have your 4 elements, water, fire, earth, air, and for chinese, an extra wood. of course, there's also the movie, the fifth element, in which it turned out to be a red-haired girl from outer space who fell in love with bruce willis. many stories have expanded upon the basis of the the 4 elements and along comes many entertaining though incomprehensible logic of how the world came to an end. but the spinner of fables is good; the logic kind of makes sense when you read the book and keeps you riveted to it till you start thinking it through. of course, there can also be the type in which some demon, somehow controls some human and then he opens a portal into a boca del inferno, or rather, the hell mouth or some other demon dimension whose inhabitants live to kill.
then there's the extraterrestrial type. like aliens, or star wars in which a death star, or like a sun-crusher, the likes of that, can snuff out an entire planet but explodes when some hotshot pilot sends two missles into some entry hole that the empire forgot to bolt down. anticlimatic. or most recently in its history, the vong took over the capital of planets so hey, there's nothing to worry about.
or perhaps, humanity will end in a more normal way, in the ending of the sun. when that happens, humans will die. lucky for humanity for the moment, that wont happen for at least another 5 million years. but with the inborn territorial instincts and the lust for blood, perhaps another world war could just wipe us all out anyway. with atomic bombs, who needs a killer comet?
+ [ moo ] r e m e m b e r again + 5:32 PM
